UnLove You
by TheBlackSwallow
Summary: Juvia tried to ignore it but she couldn't any longer. She no longer deserved to stay with him after all she has done. Thinking that she can no longer be forgiven, Juvia would try to let go of her love for his sake. Gray on the other hand thinks otherwise. Set After the Tartaros Arc.
1. UnLove You

**Author's Note:**

Hi guys! Honestly it's been years since I've written a fanfiction and I bet it shows in my writing. It's my first however to write a fanfic for FairyTail because back then I wanted to only focus writing fanfictions just under one anime/manga. Now I've broken my rule after years of hiatus because this story possessed me. I had seriously woken up the other day with the whole story in my mind and turned on my laptop to write it down.

Some fair warnings. It's my first FairyTail fanfiction so I am very afraid that everybody is out of character. So I apologize in advance. Seconds I got confused with the whole Juvia speaking in third person. So if it seems off I'm sorry. But there were one or two sentences where I allowed her to speak in the first person. Of course I apologize for grammar corrections and spelling.

**Spoiler Warning:** If you did NOT read up to chapter 397 then I am telling you not to read this. Because you may not get the story and you will be spoiled.

So Thank You once again for reading this story. I hope you enjoy it and please do review!

**Disclaimer**: **I do NOT own FairyTail.**

* * *

><p>Juvia guessed it was too much. It had hurt already when she was poisoned fighting that demon. Definitely didn't help to be poisoned right after in that murky demon liquid. She was surprised she even lasted till the end of the whole battle. Glad she did because she would have never believed it if anyone told her what happened.<p>

But as the battle finally ended and her adrenaline was zapped, she guessed everything started crashing down on her. And she finally caved in.

One thing Juvia was sure about was that she would never want to go through that experience again. Slipping in and out of consciousness like a wave crashing into a shore. It would be brief and it would be painful only to have her being pulled back into the ocean of sweet darkness. And in the end it would leave her with vague and confusing memories.

She remembered the first one. She probably just passed out recently. All she heard was muffled screamed versions of her name.

Most of the others were flashes of things her eyes would catch in the milliseconds that it would open. From seeing the guild edging closer, to seeing a butterfly fly in the window, a cold compress on her forehead, faceless people standing over her and people panicking as she heard someone coughing violently. It took her some time to realize that the one coughing was her.

Her small moments of consciousness improved. Well enough to have a grasp of what was going on. One of the better ones was when she felt warmth growing in her chest. It made it easier to breath and took the pain away if only just a little bit. Somehow being able to look at the situation she made out Chelia and Wendy, hands glowing with their healing magic.

Having to call Lamia Scale here, Juvia realized it must have been serious. Only being able to see Wendy and Chelia something else registered in her head. Someone was holding her hand. Tight almost frantic and Juvia couldn't help but feel a tinge of cold seeping down from it like a snowflake fluttering on her unresponsive hand. As Juvia registered Chelia being here once again she smiled a bit, _Lyon-san_. Of course he would have come rushing along with Chelia when he heard she was sick.

That's when she lost consciousness once again. Her next bits of consciousness would be times when it was the middle of the night feeling a weight on her arm. Or that one time she caught Mirajane sleeping on the sofa. _Ah so she's been the one taking care of Juvia_. It seemed like it was getting better till she had that blackout.

Usually when Juvia slipped into unconsciousness it would be like sleeping. Closing her eyes only to wake up to the next wave of consciousness. But the blackout was different. She was awake. Fully aware. But the problem was she couldn't feel herself able to move. She couldn't make herself open her eyes. In an unresponsive body she was left to her thoughts. And that's where the problem lies. Because though Juvia has been ignoring and avoiding it for so long. She could no longer run from the nightmares and thoughts that have been nagging her.

_Gray-sama._ Juvia could feel the cold spreading throughout her. She really tried not to mind it. She just tried to brush it off but now with no person to battle as an excuse. No new pair of shoes to buy. No mission to go off to. Juvia was left with the haunting thoughts she had about Gray. _Gray-sama's father…because of Juvia… _Juvia felt like she was thrown into turmoil. She knew what would happen when she defeated Keith. She knew that she was the one who would make Gray suffer. And Juvia was sure he did.

Juvia internally wept. She, the one who claimed to love her Gray-sama so much had brought so much suffering to him. It bothered her and she realized that incident with Gray wasn't the first time she brought suffering to him. She didn't know why. But she's been having a recurring nightmare about it. She would brush it off but it always came back to haunt her. That scene where the beam shot right through his head.

Juvia tried to busy herself. She went on as much missions as she could. Started sewing and expanded her collection of Gray-sama items in her room. Counting days even hours since important events in her life. Smiled through the day though she had sleepless nights. Drank cups of coffee to stay awake. But the memory was engraved into her head. And when Meredy secretly confided in her, her sorrow of Ultear's disappearance Juvia had a gut feeling that it had something to do with her. That's when it hit her, the scary realization. _Gray-sama died because of Juvia_.

She had been so stupid. Not paying attention and Gray was the one who had to pay for her stupid mistake. He had taken that beam for her. And though somehow Ultear had changed the course of time she knew that it would have been her fault. Gray would not be breathing, wouldn't be alive all because of her stupidity.

Juvia guessed she was really stupid. She was stupid in that Grand Magic Games when out of her lack of attention was easily pushed out of the water orb. And poor Lucy had to take the brunt of it. It was due to her obvious feeling for Gray Meredy tied that sensory link on them. Never mind if she was the one to suffer but she would have dragged Gray down with her.

Then Juvia finally entertained _that_ thought. Juvia loved Gray very much. She loved him and she tried to ignore every annoyed look, every disgusted glance and every cold shoulder she got. It was fine because even if Gray didn't love her, Juvia was determined to make him love her back. But now…

Thinking back to all the pain that she had given him, the annoyances, the suffering. Juvia had even taken away _his Father_… and at one point _his life_. And Juvia had finally reached the conclusion that she tried so hard to ignore:

_Juvia doesn't deserve to be with Gray-sama._

And as if that conclusion was the secret password her eyes shot open. Though Juvia regained the feeling of her body she couldn't find the strength to move. Finally realizing that she couldn't be with the man she loves if she's the one bringing him so much pain, Juvia felt like an empty shell. Despite what she wanted. Despite her broken heart. Juvia had to let go of Gray. She had no right to love him any longer.

"Juvia!" Juvia registered that sweet voice. Her eyes then slowly turned to look at the beaming smile of Mirajane, tired and relieved. "You're all right everyone was so worri—" and that's when the tears came out.

Juvia couldn't help but sob out and cover her face in sorrow. Mirajane in panic, worried about her health "Juvia! Are you okay?! Does anything hurt?!"

Juvia merely shook her head in reply and said "No, just Juvia's heart."

* * *

><p>It took about two days in bed till Juvia could stand up again and walk again. Though Mirajane wanted for her to stay in the bed longer since she was out for two weeks. Juvia then expressed that she needed some fresh air and some sun. After all two weeks in bed was already too long. Many people were glad to see her out and about. Master was happy because now with Juvia out and about everyone in the guild was accounted for. Juvia was happy knowing that meant Laxus and the others were ok as well. In fact she heard that Laxus' team was able to go on a short mission. All of them, Cana, Levy, Elfman and the rest all congratulated her on her recovery.<p>

It was only Gajeel who knew something was up. Juvia could see it in his questioning glare. She looked away and her mind was thinking of excuses to say to him as he went closer. Luckily however Gajeel was side tracked by Levy as she pulled him away. "Come on Gajeel! We have a mission to do! The train is going to leave soon."

Juvia thanked the heavens for Levy. She also thanked the heavens that another team decided to take a mission too.

"Oh Juvia" Mirajane said with a sweet voice. "Don't be sad. Gray and the others took a week long mission just a day before you woke up. They'll be back soon." She said as she tried to cheer up the gloomy water mage. If only Mirajane knew that she wasn't happy for their fast return but for their present absence.

_"So Gray-sama is coming back in two days' time."_ Juvia thought as she stirred the straw in her drink. "_Two days. Would two days be enough to let go of Gray-sama?"_ Juvia shook herself out of those thoughts. Well if she couldn't do it in two days she would have to start somewhere.

"_But where to start"_ Juvia's mind then suddenly went to her room. Full of Gray-sama novelties. From her towel to her pillow to all those plushies. She could try throwing them out.

"Juvia are you ok? Don't go bumping your head on the table. You just got better" Cana commented as she saw Juvia go through the aforementioned action. Juvia just peeked up at Cana and muttered an apology successfully bringing Cana back to her drinking. Juvia guessed that was too much of a hurdle.

"Now what" she whined as she tried to think of ways to erase Gray from her mind.

"Juvia-san!" Juvia jolted up as she turned to see Wendy and Chelia smiling at her. "Glad you're ok!"

"Wendy!? Juvia thought Gray-sama and the rest went on a mission?! Are you already done?!" Juvia's heart was pounding. She wasn't ready to see Gray yet.

Chelia and Wendy both laughed. "It's ok Juvia. I'm sure Gray will be back soon." Chelia answered with a smile. "I decided to extend my stay to hang out with Wendy. So she didn't end up going along with the mission." Juvia felt her heart relax. At least she wouldn't be seeing Gray that soon.

Looking at the two Juvia smiled, bent down and pulled them into a hug. "Eh? Juvia-san?" Wendy said as she was pulled into the sudden show of affection.

"Don't think that Juvia doesn't remember. It was you two who healed Juvia. If not for the both of you Juvia might not have recovered." Juvia said as she gazed fondly at the two. Both ending up with flushed faces due to embarrassment the two stammered out that it was nothing.

_Speaking of thanks_. "Chelia?" Juvia turned to look at the god-slayer. "I'm assuming Lyon-san should be back at the guild"

Chelia quirked her head. "Well I think he should be back by now." She then curiously looked at Juvia. "Why do you ask?"

Juvia then smiled as she straightened up to get her things. "Juvia is going to thank him personally!"

As Chelia and Wendy watched Juvia walk out the door Chelia then muttered "Thanks for what?"

* * *

><p>Juvia had to make a dash for it when she entered her room. She couldn't be bothered stuck looking at the face of the man she could no longer love. She quickly grabbed her wallet a sack that she had always prepared with a few days clothes and dashed right back out.<p>

Walking from the dorms heading to the train station Juvia thought about what she was about to do. Juvia remembers in that nightmare that Lyon-san was there. If he didn't remember it then there was a chance that it was all in her head. And if it was it was thing she could cross off from her list of offenses against Gray. Though she had a lot more, at least this one. If this one turned out to be false then she could sleep a bit better at night.

Passing by the guild on the way to the station, Juvia looked at the place she called home. After the battle against Tartarus, her guild was subjected once again to another rebuilding. Though it was still being rebuilt she could hear the laughs and the cheers coming from the flimsy building. Always sounding like a celebration. "_Maybe Laxus and the rest returned." _Juvia felt herself smile just a bit. She had stalked Gray once when they were rebuilding the guild before. Juvia then sighed. "_Now Juvia will have more time to herself"_

Juvia then turned and walked off to the train station. Unfortunately however the hourly train she picked was 15 minutes late. Luckily Lamia Scale wasn't that far so it would hardly affect her schedule. Not like Juvia had much planned in the first place.

When Juvia arrived, she found herself wandering. As if in a trance she slowly walked around unaware of what was happening around her. Juvia smiled bitterly "_Juvia guesses this is what happens when you lose something like the purpose of your life."_ Though she may be exaggerating, Juvia somehow felt she was losing her purpose. From the moment she woke up to the moment she fell asleep all she ever cared about was Gray. And even Juvia can't take the feeling of an unrequited love knowing that by her own choice she will never end up by his side. Her only choice to save both her and Gray from suffering was to let go off the feelings she harboured for him.

Lost in her thoughts Juvia didn't even realize that she was in front of Lamia Scale. Unsure whether she should just enter she peeked in to see what was going on. Scanning for a familiar face she jolted when she heard her name being called. And there he was the man Juvia was looking for.

"Juvia!? What are you doing here?! I heard that you just got better!" Lyon started as he looked at his surprise visitor.

"Hello Lyon-san." she said as she pulled on a smile. Lyon glanced at her and smiled. "Alas! Is today finally the day where my lovely Juvia-chan has chosen to stay by my side. Oh what a wonderf-" and that's when Lyon had a good look at Juvia's downcast face.

Dropping all teasing antics aside Lyon gave a small endearing smile. "Hey Juvia?!" successfully getting her attention. "Want to grab a bite?"

* * *

><p>As Juvia and Lyon were served their drinks, Lyon let a few moments of silence pass. Luckily it seemed they were the only ones sitting outside the restaurant. Taking a sip from his drink and putting it down he finally spoke up. "So what's wrong?"<p>

Juvia was snapped out of her thoughts. Unsure how to start. Biting her lip she faked a smile. "What do you mean?" she cursed herself as it came out shaky. "Nothing's wrong." Lyon's hand however quickly reached for her face.

"Then why is Juvia-chan shedding a tear." Lyon inquired of her. Juvia couldn't help the other tears from coming out.

"Lyon-san…" she grabbed his hand. Looking at him straight in the eye. "Tell me the truth Lyon-san. Do you remember? Do you remember Gray-sama dying?" she broke out.

Lyon's eyes widened in response and were suddenly face downwards. "Don't tell me. That you've been having that nightmare as well." Juvia clutched tighter as her heart plummeted.

Lyon looked sadly at Juvia. "I had a feeling it wasn't just a nightmare. That image…where those beams…" Juvia immediately dropped his hand and covered her face in anguish. It was true. It was all true. Gray…Gray had died.

Juvia felt Lyon's hand on her head. "Juvia, Gray didn't die. I'm not sure how but we both know it didn't actually happen." Juvia violently shook her head.

"It doesn't matter!" she sobbed. "Juvia killed him!" She looked up at him with a tear-covered face. "Juvia killed Gray-sama!"

Lyon in panick grabbed her shoulders and shook her to her senses. "Juvia calm down!" Juvia looked up at him. "It wasn't your fault. Gray wouldn't hate you for it. It didn't even happen." Lyon explained softly to her.

Juvia looked at Lyon with sad eyes. She shook her head once more. "It's all my fault! If I had been paying attention! All I do is hurt him!" Juvia cried. Juvia then clutched her hands together. Looking up at Lyon she expressed. "Lyon-san…Juvia killed his father."

It took some time for Lyon to register what Juvia said. Lyon looked at her in confusion and shook his head. "Juvia, Deliora killed Gray's family years ago."

"No, Juvia killed him. Juvia killed him all over again." she said while shaking. "A necromancer was keeping him alive. He was the one behind face…and…and…" her face twisted into a pained expression. "Juvia had to do it Lyon-san. Gray-sama's father even told her to do it. But still! By killing that necromancer, Juvia had separated Gray-sama from his father. Juvia had taken Gray-sama's father from him!"

Lyon gazed sadly at the water-mage. Seeing her breaking into tears. Succumbing to the pain that she kept in her heart. Lyon knew it would take time for her to heal so all he could do was pull her to a hug and comfort her. "Shhh…Juvia it wasn't your fault."

Juvia continued crying. "Lyon-san…Juvia doesn't deserve to be with Gray." She said it. She finally said it out loud.

Juvia pulled away and looked up sadly. "All that Juvia has been doing is bringing pain to him. Juvia has been nothing but a nuisance…"

"Juvia! That's not true!" Lyon tried to but in.

"But it is!" Juvia said before Lyon could say anything else. "Juvia has endangered his life when she clearly showed her emotions to Meredy, letting her take advantage of it. Juvia has taken away his father. And by Juvia's own stupidity, by Juvia's own inattentiveness Gray-sama had lost his life."

Juvia looked up at Lyon. "Juvia no longer deserves to be at his side. And maybe Juvia never did."

Lyon just looked at Juvia wistfully and sighed. He held her hand. "I don't think that's true. Though you may not believe this, I believe Gray needs you. You of all people who truly loves him, Gray needs someone like you by his side."

Juvia shook her head. "Juvia once thought that it was her place. But it is not hers any longer." Lyon just looked at her sadly. "I think it still is Juvia. It still is."

Juvia just kept quiet and took a few breaths. She needed to pull herself together. Feeling a bit lighter for expressing her feelings and crying it out, Juvia put on a light smile. She then looked at the hand holding hers and squeezed it. "By the way Lyon-san. Juvia forgot to thank you."

Lyon looked at her with a smile. "Thank you for what?"

She smiled at him. "Juvia doesn't remember much but she remembered you holding her hand when Chelia was healing her."

Lyon quirked his head. "What do you mean?"

Juvia gave him a smile. "Juvia remembers while Chelia was healing her you were holding Juvia's hand. Juvia could tell it was you because it was gripping her so tightly and Juvia even felt your ice magic cooling her hand. So ice power and Chelia, Juvia put two and two together and she realized it was you."

Juvia squeezed his hand again. "It was nice of you to come to visit Juvia. Thanks." She looked back at his face just to see it serious and blank.

Lyon then sighed and looked at Juvia once again. "Juvia…I never visited you while you were sick."

Juvia felt her blood curdle. Not wanting to accept the repercussions of this statement she asked. "What do you mean?"

Lyon explained to her. "Juvia, I went on a mission after the Tartarus incident before I knew how dire your state of well-being was. It was an S-class mission that took me more than a week. I only got back 3 days ago."

Juvia clutched Lyon's hand tighter. "But then Lyon. If it wasn't you then it was…"

"It was me."

Juvia felt her heart stop. How she always loved to hear that voice. How she could recognize it even in a sandstorm. Juvia turned just to see the man that she loves, standing before her. And from the way he was glaring at her, she could tell he was pissed.

* * *

><p>"Gray-sama?" Juvia asked shaking and still clutching unto Lyon's hand. "Since when…I thought…"<p>

Gray shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at her. "We finished the mission early." answering the question she couldn't finish.

Juvia couldn't help but shiver. She was about to say that it was good that it was a success till Gray interrupted. "So it was quite surprising to find out the person who has been unconscious for two weeks wasn't there when I arrived."

Juvia just pursed her lips at what he said. "Oh well. Um…here I am."

Gray looked at her and pointedly looked at the hand she was holding. "Yes, here you are. Holding Lyon's hand. When funny enough I was the one holding yours. For almost two weeks."

Juvia felt like she lost her voice. Juvia couldn't help but remember those moments of consciousness where she felt a weight on her arm. Lyon then spoke up for her when she realized that she couldn't.

"Nice to see you Gray!" the elder student said as he looked at Gray. Gray's eyes flickered to Lyon for a moment then back to Juvia. "So how long have you been here?"

Gray not leaving his eyes from Juvia explained to them. "I got back from the guild today. I went straight to the infirmary to find out Juvia wasn't there." Juvia received another pointed look from him. "Found out from Wendy and Cheria that you came straight to Lamia Scale. Got on the next train and tried to find you. Luckily your guildmates told me where you were heading and I caught you just about when you got your drinks."

Juvia felt like she was going to faint. Gray was here ever since they got their drinks…then that would mean.

"Ah! So I'm assuming you heard everything then!?" Lyon said as chipper as always looking at Gray who was blankly looking back at him. "Well, that makes things much easier for me." Smiling, Lyon proceeded to stand up.

In panic Juvia clutched his hand tighter. "Lyon-san? What are you doing?" as she gazed at him. Lyon chuckled and gave her a smile. "Well I'm going to pay the bill. And I think you have to talk to him." Proceeding to nudge his head to Gray's direction.

Juvia shook her head. There was no way she could face Gray right now. "Lyon-san! Don't leave me!"

Lyon chuckled once again and laid a kiss on the hand holding his. "Good Luck," He then pulled his hand from her grasp and proceeded to leave. Her hand still awkwardly outstretched, she took a breath and turned to look at the remaining ice mage who was clearly not happy.

Grabbing the awkwardly outstretched hand Gray looked at her darkly "We need to talk."

* * *

><p>Juvia couldn't say anything and she decided not to. Gray seemed angry and she could tell because for the past 5 minutes of being dragged by him to God knows where Gray had not said a single word. You could practically see him steaming and Juvia was glad she was made of water because the hands in her bones would be broken by now.<p>

Lost in her thoughts, she yelped as she was suddenly yanked downwards to sit on the ground. Finally reaching their destination Juvia found herself facing a river with no one else in sight. Gray was sitting on the ground beside her with an arm propped upon his knee. Funny enough apparently sometime during the 5 minutes he dragged her, Gray had successfully discarded his shirt without anyone knowing.

Juvia didn't know where to start. Should she thank him for taking care of her for the past two weeks? Should she apologize for the things he overheard?

"He was dead already." Juvia jolted up as she looked at him. His gaze that was previously on the scenery was turned to her. Juvia wanted to say something but he interrupted before she got a chance. "My father died a long time ago. I never expected that I would see him again. Just seeing him for a little bit was good enough for me. It was no use being attached to him. His time was up a long time ago." He said as he turned back to the scenery.

Juvia's eyes watered. "Gray-sama, Juvia…"

"Don't you dare think it was you fault!" His voice booming. The force of his glare focused all on her. "You had to stop that necromancer. There was nothing you could do. Besides…you finally gave my father, the chance to finally rest in peace."

Juvia couldn't look at Gray. Despite what he said she could tell that what happened was still hurting him. Shocking Juvia however Gray suddenly grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. Even through the tears, Juvia couldn't help but blush at the physical contact as Gray pressed her hand harder to his chest. Her face turning red as she felt its warmth and the drum of his heartbeat.

"Do you feel that Juvia?" Juvia glanced up registering how close she was to his face. "You feel that heartbeat don't you?" and Juvia couldn't deny the thundering beat pounding at his chest.

Gripping Juvia's hand tighter Gray spoke softly. "My father was already dead but I assure you I'm very alive."

Tears started cascading down Juvia's cheeks. "Juvia. It's not your fault." Juvia shook her head, denying what he was saying. "You've done nothing wrong. You couldn't possibly have killed me if I'm not dead."

"But—"

"Juvia." Interrupting her once again. Gray nudged her face so that she would look at him. "It was another time line. It was another possibility. Ultear saved me. It doesn't matter whether I died in another future or not. What matters is that I'm alive in this present. In front of you, I'm alive right now."

"But if not for Juvia! Gray-sama wouldn't have taken that beam!" Juvia cried as she looked at him, sorrow in her eyes.

Gray stared at her and brushed the tears off her cheeks with a thumb. "Do you have any right to say anything? All I cared about was protecting you. You of all people understand that very well."

Juvia didn't understand what he was talking about. Gray however looked at her and caressed her cheek. "Cana mentioned to me once about the time you took out the lacrima, injuring yourself to prove that you were a rightful member of the guild. I remembered Meredy telling me how you purposely broke your own leg when you fought her. You saved me from her and I don't think I've given you my thanks. You even ended up being poisoned after fighting Keith because you were thinking about my father." Gray sighed as he looked at her. "You always think about everyone else above yourself. Isn't it about time that someone thought about you?"

Juvia was crying harder. She didn't want this. She didn't want Gray to just forgive her offenses. Why does he insist that everything she's done has done no harm?

Gray tsked to see more tears falling down her face. "Just so you know. I don't regret it. That I was able to save you. I don't regret it at all. I would have done it a thousand times over again."

Juvia couldn't bear the thought. Seeing that event happen to Gray another thousand times. Juvia wouldn't be able to stand it. "Stop it Gray-sama." She cried out. "Juvia has hurt you so many times. Stop brushing it off like it was nothing. Gray-sama doesn't need such a stupid and terrible girl like Juvia!"

Hearing that sentence however ticked Gray off and he proceeded to tug her face to look at him. "You're not stupid or terrible! You may be over energetic and your reactions can be a bit too much but you're not stupid and you're not terrible! What I know is that you're a girl with a big heart. Someone who's cheerful, selfless and persistent" Gray grinned at her. Putting a lock of her behind her ear he closed his eyes and leaned their foreheads together. "You're someone who I fell in love with"

Juvia's eyes widened and she quickly pushed him away. Going through emotional turmoil of happiness and despair her logic had finally won. "Juvia doesn't deserve to be with Gray-sama." she stated.

Hearing those words Gray narrowed his eyes at the blue-haired girl. "And why is that? Didn't I tell you those things that you were worrying about don't matter?!"

"Yes, Gray-sama did."

"Then what do you mean by that?" he attempted to hold her hand only to have it shoved away.

Juvia looked at him with resolution. "Though you may find it in your heart to forgive Juvia for all the things that she's done for you, Juvia cannot forgive herself so easily. Juvia has given you so much suffering. Juvia has no right to be the one that Gray-sama loves!"

Seething with anger Gray successfully captured her wrist and pulled her closer. Through gritted teeth he muttered "What the hell are you saying?! You have every right to!" Making sure to hold all of her attention "Are you just going to toss away whatever feelings you have for me?!"

Juvia feeling her resolve shaking took a deep breath. "Juvia will."

Gray looked at her unblinking and all. "You can't"

"Yes she can!"

"Then tell me Juvia" as Gray looked at her, clutching tightly to her wrist. Gray's hand was shaking from anger. "Tell me you don't love me anymore."

As Gray spat out those words, Juvia felt her heart throb. And there it was, something that Juvia couldn't dare to do. Though she had resolved herself to do so, she couldn't tell him. Juvia's face scrunched up in sadness as she let tears escape her eyes. Juvia looked up at Gray's expectant face, his eyes gazing at her with great intensity. "That's the thing Gray-sama." She said in a broken voice as she closed her eyes, not wanting to see the gaze that was being focused upon her. "Juvia still hasn't figured it out. She still doesn't know how to stop loving you."

Juvia didn't know what happened as she kept her eyes closed but she felt a warmth envelope her lips. Opening it to realize it was Gray's covering her own. She pulled away. Her betraying heart beating franticly. After all she had been dreaming and praying for the moment when Gray would finally kiss her.

"Wha—" she started. Only to have Gray steal another one. By now Juvia was feeling dizzy and she felt every single nerve in her body tingle in delight. Juvia quickly pulled apart once again and leaned away, trying to avoid it.

Gray however quickly laid upon her lips a third kiss and in an attempt to get away she ended up crashing down, prostrate on the soft ground. To her dismay Gray proceeded to tower over her, successfully caging her. Now she had nowhere to escape.

Juvia then quickly covered her mouth to try to shield it from any more of Gray's barrage of kisses. She looks up at him, powerless as he looms over her with a determined look on his face that set her face on fire and her heart on a marathon. Looking away from his face, not removing her hands from her mouth she mumbled out. "You're too cruel."

In anger Gray pulled her hands away from her mouth. Successfully removing the make-shift barrier and had her looking back at him in panic. Gritting his teeth Gray replied "And why exactly am I cruel?"

Juvia pressed her lips together as some tears flowed out of her eyes. "Because if you do something like that to Juvia. It would be harder for her to stop loving you."

Gray looked at her for a few seconds, his face looking at her curiously till he broke out into a small chuckle. He looked at Juvia and gave a small smile. "That's because Juvia. I don't want you to stop loving me."

Juvia looked up at him tears clouding up her vision. "Why?"

Gray looked at her fondly. "Because I was saved by you." At those words Juvia's mind went hazy and all forms of protest disappeared from her mind.

Gray paused for a while and smiled wistfully at her. "If you're full of regrets for causing the suffering of others. Of regrets from bad choices. The guilt from causing the death of someone else." He said and Juvia could see the pain showing in his eyes. "I of all people understand it very well."

Gray closed his eyes and took a breath. He lessened the grip he had on Juvia's wrists. "If I had been stronger then maybe they wouldn't have died. If I hadn't gone searching for Deliora, she wouldn't have sacrificed her life. Even Ultear, gave me another chance to live at the cost of hers." Gray opened his eyes and he looked at Juvia once again giving her a small smile. The smallest of smiles that could be mustered through all of the pain.

"I know all about it Juvia. And if there's anyone who doesn't have the right it's me. I was someone who was broken, unable to love." Gray sighed. "There were people I loved greatly that were taken away from me. I've become afraid to love. I couldn't take the idea of involving myself with someone, being tied down to them just to have them slip away from my grasp all over again. And I thought I could do it. I thought I could be alone." Then he allowed himself a small chuckle.

He brought his hand to her cheek and caressed it once more. "Then you found a way to my heart. And you saved me by doing so Juvia. When I fought against my father I had tried to use my iced shell. But when I was about to make that fatal mistake I realized there were others waiting for me." His thumb started tracing Juvia's lips. "I saw flashes of them. People important to me. People I have already tied my heart to. I saw you."

Gray lowered his head. Once again touching his forehead to hers closing his eyes. "I saw you smiling at me. Calling my name. And I regretted it. Because I realized it too late. I realized that no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't help but fall in love with you. And I couldn't stand it anymore. I could no longer avoid it. Because no matter how I feared losing another person that I loved…" Gray opened them sweetly looking at her "I couldn't stand even more the idea of you disappearing without me telling you how much I love you."

"So there I was Juvia. Sitting by your bedside every day. Till Erza threatened me to go on a mission because she was worried for my health." Gray smiled at her. "I was so ready to finally tell you that I love you."

Juvia broke into a smile and released a small sob. With her free hand she covered her mouth trying to quell more from escaping. "Is it really ok for Juvia to love you?"

Gray gently took her hand from her mouth. Brought both of her hands to wrap around his neck. "You say that you don't deserve to be by my side but you're the only one I can even imagine to be with. I lived all this time thinking I could be alone. But I realized that I couldn't. You saved me from myself Juvia. You gave me a reason to keep on living. You helped make my life one worth living because for some reason you could love a broken person like me. So please, please don't stop loving me." He pleaded to her in soft tones.

Juvia and Gray looked each other in the eye. And Juvia released another sob. "Juvia couldn't even if she tried." Juvia then broke into a smile. "I love you." She uttered.

And Juvia finally kissed back as they had their fourth first kiss.


	2. His Grasp

**Author's Note: **

Did I ever tell you guys how much I love you? I have never gotten so many favorites before. And so to all you lovely people I have been inspired to write an accompaniment piece. Since I also had no idea what else to write I have heeded **Lady of the Round Table**'s prompt to write the chapter in Gray's POV. So thank you for that!

Unfortunately I am not good at writing stories where the same events happen and it's just the point of view that differs. So instead I give you Gray's POV before Juvia woke up. Huzzah! So this would make it only my second story for Fairy Tail. So please be nice. I'm really rusty. And of course since this is an accompaniment to my first story I will be tying it back every so often. Like the parts where Juvia was unconscious. I really hope it makes sense.

So here you go. Here's "_His Grasp_". I apologize if they are out of character. I apologize for grammatical errors. Or if this story is just not good. Tell me so I can pull it down. Huhuhu.

Thank you once again for being awesome 'favoriters' and followers and for reading my story. Please review and enjoy!

** Spoiler Warning:** If you did NOT read up to chapter 397 then I am telling you not to read this. Because you may not get the story and you will be spoiled.

**Disclaimer**: **I do NOT own FairyTail.**

* * *

><p>Gray didn't know if he could take it. To take another swift blow to his heart. Clutching tighter to the hand of the blue-haired girl lying on the bed, he pondered what he could have done in his past life to have earned all this bad karma.<p>

_Five days…_Gray counted in his head. Stroking the water mage's hand absentmindedly. He allowed himself a small smile as his mind suddenly drifted back to the memory in Tenroujima. When he had found her unconscious all he needed to get her back up was to call out to her. If only it was that easy right now.

Gray inched his hand to her face and carefully stroked her cheek. "Hey…" he uttered to her softly "It's been five days Juvia. How long are you going to sleep?" Unsurprisingly the girl lying on the bed showed no signs of improvement. With a sad smile Gray huffed to himself and swept a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

Of course it wouldn't have worked. Because for the past five days Gray has been calling out Juvia's name and she never woke up from her sleep. Not when he screamed out to her when she collapsed. Not to the time when they first laid her on the bed. Not to when he would whisper out her name at the early hours in the morning. Not to a single one.

"Honestly." Gray jolted up in surprise as he was pulled from his thoughts. His attention settling on the new visitor leaning on the doorway. Eyeing Gray and crossing his arms, Gajeel and the ice mage were engaged in a stare-down. After a while of pointless silence, Gajeel finally broke away from it. After all he didn't come here just to waste time with the ice pervert.

"Well since you brought up sleep to Miss Sleeping Beauty over there, when was the last time you actually got some, idiot?" Gajeel asked the man who had diligently posted himself beside his closest friend.

Gray looked back at Juvia and sighed. "I'm fine. I get enough rest."

Gajeel narrowed his eyes at the ice mage. "I hear you've been skipping meals too." Gray was about to retort to that one too when Gajeel lost his patience and growled at him. "Will you quit it!?" Gajeel was satisfied to see the other close his mouth shut. It was time for the creep to get some sense knocked into him. "You're not the only one who's worried about her! Hell I've knew her a lot longer than you, punk! But you don't see me skipping out the basic needs for living!"

Gray didn't look up at Gajeel and kept his gaze at the hand he was holding. "Look! Sleep. Eat. Other people can stay by her side. Mirajane. Lucy. Levy. Me. You've got practically the whole guild willing to take your place for a while. You don't have to be the one by her side 24/7. It's been five days, Fullbuster. You need to stop."

Gray scoffed. "Didn't know you cared so much Gajeel?" Gray smiled at the Dragon Slayer glaring at him.

Gajeel scoffed back. "Like I would!" Gajeel's eyes then shifted towards Juvia lying down on the bed. "It wouldn't do her any good if she wakes up from her coma only to find you in one instead."

Gray winced at that. Gray knew very well if she were to wake up to see him the way he was now, it would only send her into a state of worry. "I know. I know very well she would hate what I'm doing." Gajeel merely looked at Gray letting him continue. "I know but…" Gray balled his free hand into a fist. "I don't think I can."

Gray took a deep breath. "I was there. Right after she got doubly poisoned. I was in the same place as her. Consumed with my goal. Obsessed to defeat those demons. I didn't check on her. I didn't see if she was ok." Gray's free hand proceeded to run through his hair in frustration. "Like you all said. She was calling out to me. And I wasn't there for her."

Gray looked at Gajeel with sorrow gleaming in his eyes. "This time I want to be here if she calls out." His eyes flicked back at Juvia. "Also…I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I leave, I may regret it. I left her last time and now she's on a bed. In a bed for five days."

Once again it felt like some sick karma was thrust upon him. It wasn't bad enough he had to lose his father all over again. But now. Not even a day's passing and his heart has been thrown into turmoil. Cursing the fates, he finds himself dreading. Worrying and anxiously waiting. Begging. That they _at least_ don't take her.

Gajeel looked at the ice mage, who settled his eyes back on the resting patient. Looked at his eye bags. And the way he clutched Juvia's hand as a lifeline. Gajeel had a feeling it very well may be. After all Gajeel knew about what went down with Gray's father.

Everything about it came to light as Lucy spilled to Gray about what happened between Juvia and the necromancer. Lucy had to when people started asking how she got doubly poisoned in the first place. Everyone was worried about him. How would he take the news? Would he be ok after all the crap he's been through? And concerning Juvia. Would he be angry at her?

Gajeel would have cursed him and kicked his ass if he brought his anger down on Juvia. But after having explained it to him and Gray explained what happened to him. Gray then just simply sat down beside Juvia and took her hand. He didn't talk for the rest of that day. And he ended up not leaving her until now. Gajeel knew Gray wasn't stable at the moment and as the silence seeped in again, Gajeel finally caved.

"At least eat your food damn it." Gajeel said breaking the silence once again. "You can very well still stay in the room and eat." Gray looked back up at Gajeel in surprise.

"And as for sleeping I'll see if Mirajane can get you a chair that's more comfortable." Gray looked at the wooden chair he's been sitting on all this time. "Let's face it. You can sleep in that chair but I'm sure your back protests. If you're going to be playing vigil might as well make it more bearable." Gray slightly smiled back at Gajeel in silent gratitude. In all honestly Gray's back agreed with the idea.

Gajeel not wanting to sink further into this awkward atmosphere of Fullbuster's gratitude began walking towards the bed. Looking at his fellow Phantom Lord Guild member he proceeded to place a hand on her forehead.

"Tch." He grimaced. "Still has a fever huh?"

"Yeah. I would place my hand on her forehead sometimes hoping my magic would help relieve it." Gray explained looking at the blue-haired girl with a flushed face.

They both hated it. It was bad enough that she wouldn't wake up but from the way her face scrunched up from time to time. How her fever never settled down. Everyone knew she was suffering.

Gajeel growled. "When will that old bat of a lady come up with an antidote?"

"She needs more time apparently. It's bad enough Juvia was poisoned by something demonic. Which means there's not much knowledge about it. What makes it worse is that she got subjected to another type of demonic poison. The two poisons ended up causing a combined reaction." Gray reiterated what Porlyusica told him when he was demanding for answers too.

Gray looked at Juvia's face scrunched up again in pain. "Despite knowing that, I can't stand it." Gray sighed. "Can't the cure come any faster? She's left to suffer while waiting for it."

Gajeel leaned on the wall looking at the blue-haired mage. "She sure is something. Holding up despite the pain she's being subjected to. She actually made it through the whole battle against Tartarus"

Gray smiled a bit at that. "That's Juvia for you. Always pushing herself too hard." It sure was true. Juvia always pushed herself. Never giving up no matter what.

Gray knew very well the extent of Juvia's determination. Being the target of her affections, Juvia sure was hard to shake off. No matter how many times he ignored her or tried to push away, Juvia would still keep at it. Her constant acts of devotion. Her tireless acts of hounding after him. It was frustrating. It was annoying.

And then it was suddenly endearing.

Gray tried to deny it. How did her acts that were supposed to be annoying and bothering come to bring a smile on his face? How did her frustrating lingering eventually become a welcomed presence? Why did her constant calling of his name suddenly sound so sweet? How was she able to stir something in him? Why did it actually work? Why did she even bother? Why did she try so hard? Why didn't she stop?

A part of Gray wished she did. He wished he could have stopped it. He could have shunned it. But it was too late. It finally got to him. Her smile. Her care. Her kindness. And he couldn't help but ponder…

Looking at Juvia still sleeping on the bed, a sad smile had formed on Gray's face. _Why did you continue to love someone as broken as me?_

Gajeel looked at Gray. Seeing the way his eyes looked at Juvia. Full of worry. Full of care.

The way how Gray clutched tighter to her hand. Never relenting. Never ceasing. His gaze and his actions clearly revealing the feelings he's kept hidden.

"You're a real piece of work you know?" Gajeel scoffed once again calling the attention of the other. "She's been pining for you for so long. Going through hell and back and shedding tears just for you. And it takes her to be hanging on to her life for you to finally cave."

Gray was left with nothing to say. What could he say in reply? He could remember all those times where he could have responded but didn't in the end. The times when Juvia had called for his attention and he never gave it. So many times when he turned her away. Gray felt his stomach turn with guilt.

"Tch" Gajeel sneered. "Cat got your tongue Fullbuster? The only reason why I'm not beating you up is because you've been tiring yourself to death staying by her when she needs you the most."

Gray pondered what Gajeel was saying. Looking at the bluenette lying on the bed with Gajeel standing by her side. Lucy, Cana, Lisanna. A number of people have all came here to visit and check up on Juvia. People who have been touched by her sincerity and kindness. All coming. All worried for her. Sadly, like Gajeel said anyone else could take his place.

Gray then shook his head at Gajeel's statement. Feeling the way his heart was pulsing. Feeling himself barely keeping together. Seeing the images of those people who he couldn't save. Seeing all their smiles and looks of endearments. Hoping that _her_ smile doesn't join the list of those he will no longer see.

He sighed and looked at Gajeel. His face tired and stressed. "The way I see it Gajeel. At this moment, I think I need her more than she needs me."

* * *

><p>"WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?!" Gray spouted out at Lucy who was now cowering at the door. With the way Gray's eyes were glaring up at her, Lucy couldn't help but hide away from his gaze. She couldn't help but feel like she was being swallowed by a thick frost-biting fog when she made eye contact with him for just a millisecond.<p>

"GRAY!" Erza shouted back at him and proceeded to smack him on the head for good measure. "It's not Lucy's fault! Don't take it out on her!" she glared at him not being affected at all by his bitter glare.

"As much as I hate agreeing with the nudist, they're taking too bloody long!" Gajeel exclaimed as he was kneeling beside the bed.

"Hasn't Chelia arrived yet!? Why isn't the old bat here?!" Gray panicked as he looked at all the occupants in the room. Giving them all desperate stares. "It's been a whole week. She's been in this bed for a _whole fucking week_! She's been holding out too long! Juvia…Juvia can't…" Gray drifted off as he looked towards the bed.

There she was thrashing. Hair in disarray. Gasps and choking sounds escaping from the blue-haired woman. Juvia was now convulsing. Her fits of coughing have been violent. Dripping out of her mouth were drops of a black substance, most likely the poison. And to their horror at times what came out were spats of blood.

She could only hold out for so long. Seeing her scrunch up her face in pain. Hearing her whimper in the night. Fever never going down. And all Gray did for the past week was give her his hand to use as a cold compress.

Gray didn't think to much of the first sign of coughing. Then eventually her coughs multiplied. It became endless. Her fever sky-rocketed. Her body was writhing. Her body was finally relenting. She was in pain. A lot of it. And Gray in panic could only sit there and watch.

Waiting for Wendy to come as fast as she could. Bringing Chelia with her. Waiting for the Porlyusica to finish up with that antidote that took so god damn long. Once again Gray felt this feeling. The feeling of powerlessness. No matter how strong he got. No matter how powerful he vowed to be. He couldn't protect the ones when they needed him.

_Mom._

_ Dad._

_ Ul._

_ Ultear._

Looking at the water mage struggling. Clutching to her life. Gray cursed himself. He had convinced himself not to get close to her. No longer opening his heart to someone else.

He didn't think it was possible to give a piece of his heart when almost all of it has been shattered. And then she came. She somehow was able to find a piece. Digging her hand through the shards. Despite being pierced. Despite the cuts. Despite it being supposedly hopeless. She found it. And he wouldn't let her keep it. For her sake. For his.

_'Would it have been better if I would have let you keep it?' _Gray looked at her. Her face twisted in pain as he held her hand with both of his. _'At least that way I wouldn't be facing this regret. The regret of letting you go. Thinking that I never wanted you to have it.'_

"Gray…" Cana's voice softly called out to him. Cana using a meek sounding tone like that sure was something he was not used to. Funny how Juvia's state right now could even bring that out of Cana. "It's going to be ok. She's a tough girl. She held out for 1 week. She can hold out even longer."

Gray shut his eyes. "How can you expect me to relax! She's suffering. She's barely holding up!" His eyes snapping open he snarled at Cana. "WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING HER!?"

"HEY IDIOT! YOU'RE LOSING CONTROL!" Gajeel spat out at Gray. Gray immediately assessed his surroundings. There he was. The ground around him, about half a meter radius was covered in ice. Gray took a deep breath as he willed his magic to stop spreading further.

"Gray! You need to calm down. Get rid of this ice! If Wendy and Chelia come here we wouldn't want them to slip on it. You're only making the situation worse!" Erza lectured Gray as she tutted at the ice surrounding him.

Before Gray could reply he felt his hand that was holding Juvia's being yanked away. Not realizing what was happening he slowly took in Gajeel's form that was carefully examining Juvia's hand. "You asshole!" the iron dragon slayer muttered as his eyes surveyed her hand. "What good would you do if you end up freezing her! It's bad enough she's in this state but because you can't keep your emotions in check you're going to put her in an even worse position! If you can't keep your shit together than don't you dare go near her!" He cursed out at him. Slightly relieved that Juvia's hand was quite warm. Letting him know that she wasn't affected by Gray's loss of control.

Gray wouldn't admit it but letting go of Juvia's hand had put him at a loss. Once again stuck in this dilemma. By being close to her, he had put her in harm's way. Gray has always known that. And yet why hasn't he left her once for these seven days.

Needing to focus, Gray slowly took a deep breath and his now empty hands clutched into fists. Not knowing what to do with them he laid them on his lap and receded the ice surrounding him.

Looking at Juvia, a dribble of blood dripping from her mouth, Gray clutched his fist tighter. He looked down at his lap unable to look at the woman on the bed. How stupid was he? Fighting battles. Meeting new opponents. Confidently thinking he could beat them all. Thinking that he was so powerful. But then why… why no matter how strong he got? He was only able to look at her while she's fading away. He had to face reality. That he was still so weak.

"They're here!" shouted Mirajane as she rushed in from the door. Gray felt the grip on his chest loosen by just a bit as he watched Chelia and Wendy enter from the door. Breathing hard and looking at the situation. They immediately dashed towards Juvia to lay their magic on her.

"Porlyusica is on her way!" Mirajane explained to the group who anxiously watched over the two wind mages. "She's almost done with the potion! But she says she first needs both Wendy and Chelia to stabilize Juvia a bit more. Juvia can't take the potion if she keeps violently expelling it. So hopefully with both Wendy's and Chelia's magic it should get her breathing calm enough to take the antidote."

Though the two had already started administering their magic unto Juvia, she was still trashing. Her hacking grew worse as more of the black ooze was spat out of her mouth. "I think she's expelling the poison!" Wendy cried as she surveyed her patient with wide eyes. "I don't think our magic can get everything out!

"It's fine! The potion can get rid of the poison. All we need to do is keep her breathing passage stable enough." Chelia worriedly looked at Juvia. "Worse comes to worse if Juvia can't take the potion we're going to have to inject it straight to her lungs."

"Aah!" both girls cried as Juvia violently convulsed expelling another heap of poison mixed with tinges of blood. Due to her wild movements, both girls had momentarily stopped the healing. "Someone hold her down! We can't heal her properly if she won't stay still!" Chelia cried out.

Gajeel immediately took the initiative and pinned down Juvia's shoulders. "Oy! Somebody get her legs!" He growled out, making sure not to apply too much pressure on her shoulders.

"I got it!" Cana called as she held down the legs that were thrashing about. "Come on Juvia! Just hang on!"

Throughout the whole exchange Gray could only watch in horror. Seeing her like this. Gray couldn't do anything. He didn't even dare be the one to hold her down. The way he was now he wasn't even sure if he could keep himself in check.

Gray didn't know what to do. Helpless once again. Like seeing Deliora stand in front of him. Powerless to stop him. Gray felt his breathing shorten. Panic was rising. He didn't even realize that he was standing up from the chair he was stationed in. Hardly realizing his two small steps back from Juvia. Once again. He was going to lose another one.

"Gray!" Erza screamed into his ear. "Snap out of it!" Gray's eyes darted to look at Erza who was looking at him. "If you're just going to stare into space then get out of here. It's best to not have that many people in this room. Only those who are actively helping with Juvia should stay. If you have no purpose here then you should leave too."

Registering what Erza said, Gray thought it would be for the best if he did leave. He had no purpose there. He had no help to offer. He had even almost frozen the whole place.

Giving a nod to Erza he took one step towards the door. Gray however looked at Juvia once again. Her face was losing color. Her trashing didn't seem to calm. And then his eyes zeroed in on her empty hand. Curling and tremoring from pain. Juvia's hand, the one he's been holding on to for a week was left empty.

Gray knew that he should leave. He could do nothing for her. He was just going to be a bother. And yet. Looking at her frail hand.

_I'm never letting go_. [1]

Gray didn't think about it. Didn't know if he could confidently keep his powers in check. He ignored Erza's callings. Ignored Gajeel shouting at him. It didn't matter. All he knew was that he had to be there. Holding Juvia's hand.

Gray enclosed his hand around Juvia's. Closing his eyes he felt a bit of his power ebb off his hand and unto hers. Soft and gentle. His powers twirled around their interlaced fingers. And Gray could only wish. Could only hope that Juvia knew that he was by her side.

He allowed himself a tiny strained smile. Looking at the situation before him. Gray felt like it was some bitter irony. Going against logic. Going against fears. Going against what he protested against so fervently.

Gray just knew that he had to stick close to her. He couldn't leave her. Not this time. Gray held her hand just a bit tighter and in his thoughts he whispered. _'This time. I'm the one not letting go'_

[1] this quote is from chapter 322 right after the unison raid when Gray asked her if she was going to let his hand go.

* * *

><p>Lucy couldn't help but giggle. "You really should have seen yourself Gray. You were completely oblivious about what was going around you. You didn't even notice Erza sheathing her sword daring to run it through you." Lucy laughed again as she got cozy in the big couch they brought in.<p>

"Oh and Gajeel!" Lucy burst into laughter again. Lowering her voice in an attempt to mimic the dragon slayer. "I swear punk! If I see even one single bit of frost on her fingers I'm going to personally run that sword through your head!" Lucy shook her head in laughter and wiped a tear from eye.

"And it's crazy to think you didn't even hear a single thing. Like you were in your own bubble." Lucy smiled to herself as she looked at the ice mage who was just rolling his eyes at her.

"Are you done yet?" Gray sighed as he leaned his head on his propped up arm. "Flame breath had already ribbed me this afternoon. Should I expect this to be a daily topic?" Lucy smiled in reply as she looked at Gray. Her eyes dropping down to the hand he's holding. "It's just too good not to mention."

The sun was beginning to set and Lucy gazed at the view from the open window. "Thank God she's ok now." Lucy looked at Juvia, resting on her bed. Color was slowly coming back to her face. The coughing had subsided. And her fever has disappeared. The healing was a success. But due to the stress Juvia's body went through, they shouldn't expect her to wake up so soon.

"Another 3 weeks in bed huh?" Lucy muttered as she gazed at Juvia tenderly.

Gray catching what she said chuckled. "Be glad. Porlyusica originally said it would take a month. But she lessened it by a week, knowing just how resilient us Fairy Tail mages are." Lucy smiled at that. It was true though for some reason no matter how beat up they got, they somehow get back up anyway.

Gray shook his head though. "I disagree with her though. Juvia's tough. I'd give it less than that. Maybe only 2 more weeks in bed." He exclaimed proudly.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Don't push it Gray. She's been through a lot. It won't be good expecting her to get better much faster than it should."

Gray only smirked in reply. And he settled the focus of his attention back on the water mage. Lucy settling in the silence looked at Gray. Once again in a bubble. Gazing at Juvia who was taking even breaths. Lucy then decided to bring up the topic that was bothering her.

"You know she was worried right?" Lucy said softly. She wasn't sure if Gray was even listening. "The thing about your father…I'm sure it tore her up to make that decision. I know you may feel some resentment. Or feel hurt about it but Juvia, she had to make a choice."

Gray interrupted Lucy with a scoff. "Lucy. I'm not angry. Do you honestly think I would stay by her side for 9 days, not leaving her side if I was angry at her?"

Lucy pursed her lips and looked towards the ground. "I know that it's a stupid question. But sometimes though you may say that now it could very well be eating you up inside. It must be bothering you. It's completely understandable that it should."

Gray took a deep breath and gently stroked Juvia's hand. "I can honestly say. That I was upset about my dad. To see him suffering. Knowing that he was being played into the hands of that necromancer. To experience the feeling of losing him all over again." Gray's gaze then turned towards the open window. "But I know the fault lies on Tartarus. I know it was all the necromancer's fault."

Gray closed his eyes in thought. "It wasn't hers. I don't blame her one bit. My father asked for me to end it. He asked for the peace that he deserved. He asked that he be finally released. I couldn't do it. And I let her take the guilt. I let her take the blame. I pulled her into my suffering." Gray sighed "Her suffering. Her pain. The blame falls on me."

Lucy looked at Gray. It's sad how the both of them would shoulder the blame. "Like you said Gray. It's not Juvia's fault. But it's not yours either." Gray looked up to see Lucy with determined eyes. "If I had to go through what you did I wouldn't have been able to do it. Just the idea of facing anybody I care about in a battle and having to take away their life. I wouldn't know what to do. I can't possibly find the strength to hurt them. But that's expected. He's your father. It's normal because you truly cared for him. You can't get rid of them. After all its these emotions and attachments we have for one another that makes us who we are. It's what makes us…"

"Human." Gray finished for her. He huffed as he remembered that that was exactly what his dad had said.

Lucy smiled at Gray finally noticing that his eye bags weren't that dark anymore. After Juvia's body had stabilized it seems he was able to sleep just a bit better. "If only Juvia could see this. To see her Gray-sama losing sleep over her." Lucy joked and Gray rolled his eyes at the teasing.

"If it means she'll finally wake up I'd willingly trade my sleep any day." Gray answered back, surprising Lucy in the process.

"Well what do you know? Looks like Mr. Fullbuster has finally gone crazy over a certain blue-haired woman?" Lucy smirked at him. Raising an eyebrow in tease.

Gray didn't rise to Lucy's teasing but just smiled back. "Crazy huh?...I guess I am."

Lucy raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What's this? You're admitting it?"

Gray merely laid his eyes on Juvia's face. "There's this saying. Love is like handing someone a gun, having them point it at your heart, and trusting them to never pull the trigger." He mumbled to himself and Lucy startled with what he had said couldn't find anything to say.

"You know. With my parents, Ul and Ultear. I didn't think I could take another one. I didn't think I could survive with another bullet to my heart." Gray said as he turned to look at Lucy. "So I guess I really am crazy. I'm crazy enough to willingly take the chance of getting shot once again."

Lucy couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Who would have thought that Gray would act so love struck. "You sure are a martyr Gray. Practically telling me you would willingly die for Juvia. That sure is love."

Gray however shook his head in disagreement. "You don't quite get it. I'm not really a martyr but I would willingly lay my life down for you, Wendy, Erza, Happy, Charles even Natsu. I would willingly risk my life for all these people in the guild. But coming from that battle I realized something."

I would die for a lot of people" Gray murmured softly as he once again landed his gaze on Juvia. "But for Juvia. I would live."

Lucy once again left speechless couldn't help but feel her eyes get teary. Something however had caught her eye and her attention was pulled towards the window. Watching quietly as a beautiful butterfly flew in.

* * *

><p>"I don't feel comfortable with it." Gray replied to Erza as she continued to pester him.<p>

"Oh don't be like that Gray. You need a take a job! You've been almost here for two weeks." Erza reasoned out with him.

"Which means that she's also been in this bed for two weeks. I can't leave her. Who knows when she would wake up?" Gray explained to the scarlet woman.

Erza frowned at him. "Juvia needs to stay cooped up in here for two weeks because she doesn't have a choice. You on the other hand need to get out and have a bit of fresh air. It would be good for you."

Gray scoffed. "Won't be good for me if I end up getting hurt on this mission."

Erza glared at him and Gray couldn't help but flinch back. "Are you doubting in our expertise and skills as Fairy Tail members? This mission shouldn't be such a big deal. Compared to the other ones you would take, we should finish it up quickly." Erza said as she crossed her arms. "Juvia's going to be in this bed for another 2 and a half weeks. She's stable. You don't need to be by her side."

"Porlyusica said 2 and a half weeks." Gray tried to say. "My bet is a little over one week which is pretty soon. So I don't want her to wake up without me there."

"Perfect then!" Erza said triumphantly "The job should only take a week. You would be able to make it right on time."

Gray didn't know what god gave him courage to stand up against Erza but he tried to stand his ground. ""That's cutting it too close. I need to stay beside her." Gray's body went rigid as he saw Erza raise her hand. Bracing for a beating Gray closed his eyes. Only to feel a small pat on his head.

"Gray." Erza said kindly. "I know you're worried. We're all worried. But Juvia's in the clear now. Now everybody's worried about you."

Gray shook his head. "They don't need to be. There's nothing wrong. I just…I can't leave her yet."

Erza gave him a small smile and ruffled through his hair. "Gray…I'm sure Juvia won't blame you for leaving her side for a few days. If she see you like this. I think she would hate it to see the one see admires and cares for like this. Besides she's not going anywhere. She'll be here when you come back."

Gray kept silent. Still feeling troubled about leaving Juvia. Erza thus continued talking to him. Walking towards the window she peered out. "You know. They're fixing the guild again. Most of the guild members are getting back out. Laxus and the Raijin tribe are taking a mission too. Everything is slowly going back to normal." Erza said softly. "Isn't it about time that you do too?"

Gray quickly looked at her. Watching her as she continued to look at the view through the window. "People take time to heal. Some take longer than others. The problem however is when people don't realize it. Don't realize the wounds. And think they're ok. So they cope in some way" Erza's eyes then drifted towards Gray's and Juvia's interlocked hands. "Finding something to latch to when they don't even realize just how broken up they are inside."

"Gray." Erza called out once again. "Juvia will understand why you weren't there after she got poisoned. You had an objective that you had to do. If you didn't show up to fight. Who knows what could have happened. It's not your fault."

"I'm glad that now you're realizing certain things. Seeing things that are important to you. But this isn't the way you can make amends. You try to give yourself to her. But the way you are now. Out of lapse from reality. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"I think. Juvia deserves to wake up to a normal you. A Gray who doesn't have sleep bags under his eyes. A Gray who's taken in fresh air." Erza finished. "A Gray who's finally whole."

After the silence that followed, Gray laughed to himself bitterly. "I was already broken Erza. I was broken a long time ago. And yet this woman still loved me despite it." Gray closed his eyes in thought. "But I guess my pride can't accept her seeing me as pitiful as this."

Gray went on. "She deserves someone better. But since she insists on staying with me, then that means I just have to make myself someone worthy enough for her." Gray opened his eyes slowly. "I really do look like a wreck. I should finally pick myself up. Can't have her seeing me stumbling about."

Erza gave Gray a small smile. For both of them understood. That not all wounds heal completely. That they stay embedded. But sooner or later you have to get back up. Proudly carrying those scars with you.

After a moment of silence Gray began to speak again. "I hope you don't think one bit. That what I'm doing. That my time with Juvia was only a way to cover up my pain for what happened with my dad. Because that's not what it is. Not at all."

Erza smiled at that and gave a small shake to her head. "I know. You really do love her. Don't you?"

Gray smirked in reply. "Whether that's true or not. I'm not going to tell you."

Erza raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Is that so?"

Gray let out a small laugh. "Yeah. Because I think she should be the one to hear it first." He jerked his head towards water-bearer.

Erza merely grinned at Gray. Knowing full well the feelings he's been holding without him having to say a word. "Well since you finally decided to come back to the world of the living, nothing better to get you back to normal than taking a good mission." Erza said with finality "Get ready because we'll leave tomorrow morning. You should let Mirajane take the night shift tonight. Because we want you nice and rested."

"Sheesh tomorrow already? You sure don't pull any punches." Gray brought up, with a smile. Feeling the excitement of taking a mission after so long.

"The sooner the better. After all, you said it yourself. Juvia's going to wake up a bit after a week. So a week's what we have." Erza justified herself.

Gray grinned back at her statement and confidently replied. "I bet we can finish quicker."

* * *

><p>"I'm not going to lie. It sure was a lot more comfortable to sleep in my bed last night then to stay in this chair." Gray spoke. Looking at the water mage still sleeping on the bed.<p>

Gray was going to leave for the mission soon but decided that, even for just a while, he would see Juvia before he left. Gray smiled at her and pulled a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. Holding her hand once again, he wouldn't admit it but he was going to miss this.

"Try not to be so dramatic ok?" Gray once again spoke. Unsure if she would even be able to hear him. "I'll only be gone for one week. I'll see if I can get it to lessen. Take care of yourself."

"Be prepared though when I come back." Gray said as he looked at their intertwined hands. "I gave you the chance. I gave you ample enough time for you to open your eyes and run away as fast as you can."

His eyes then flickered unto her face. "But now time's up. And I have no intention of letting you go."

Gray looked outside. Realizing that it should be about time for him to leave. "I've got to go." He said as he finally let go of her hand. Releasing the grip that he had on it. Even as he let go of it, he felt his empty hand tingle. Maybe from the promise that it wouldn't be left empty for long. "I'll see you soon." He said.

Gray slowly stood up. And before he started walking towards the door he softly told her. "Hey Juvia. When I come back, I'm going to tell you something. So wait for me ok?"

* * *

><p>AN: <strong>Then the first story follows after. So you can imagine Gray's horror to find Juvia not being in the bed. Welp! Thank you for reading <strong>_**His Grasp**_** and review if you can! **


End file.
